Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
