i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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