you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
