He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
