If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
