As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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