Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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