Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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