Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize