My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
