singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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