i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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