how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Boobs speak an international language.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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