I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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