you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
