I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
