Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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