Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
