Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
