drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
