Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
