I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
