Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
