dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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