"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I need a burrito and a hug.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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