YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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