I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
