I'm pants shitting drunk right now
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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