Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
