I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
