so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it's not cheating when I paid for it
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Someone shattered a urinal.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
