i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
