Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you win again, gameday.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
