Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Randomize
