It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
This show inspires me to have sex in space
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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