I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We're too hungover to prance.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
