office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
