Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
