At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
