We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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