ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you win again, gameday.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
