Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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