Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize