No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
