alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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