I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize