sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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