I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
