I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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