I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
