Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The air taste purple.
Randomize