Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
