This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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