That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize