you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
