There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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