i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just pee around me
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
