You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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