I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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