You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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