Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize