Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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