How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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