in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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