two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
