You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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