I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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