Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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