seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize