I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
