well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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