There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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