I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize