Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
