Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
