Only a mothe r could love this liver
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
