A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
