i was born a porn star she said
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
