It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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